這邊高手很多，就讓小弟班門弄斧一下：

A butcher watching over his shop is really surprised when he sees a dog coming inside the shop. He shoos him away. But later, the dog is back again. So, he goes over to the dog and notices it has a note in its mouth.
有個肉販看到有隻狗走進他的鋪子裡吃了一驚，肉販把狗噓走，可是沒多久這隻狗又跑回來，所以他探頭看了一下這條狗才發現狗嘴裡有張小紙條。

He takes the note and it reads "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please? The dog has money in its mouth, as well."
他拿起紙條，紙條上寫著"麻煩給我12條香腸和一條羊腿，錢就放在狗嘴裡"

The butcher looks inside and, lo and behold, there is a ten dollar note there. So he takes the money and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog's mouth. The butcher is so impressed, and since it's about closing time, he decides to shut the shop and follow the dog.
肉販低頭看了一下，哇！還真的有十塊錢耶！所以他收了錢，把香腸和羊腿放入袋子裡以後再放到狗嘴裡。肉販對這隻狗實在太訝異了，想想又剛好快打烊了，他就決定收攤然後跟著這條狗看看。

So off he goes. The dog is walking down the street, when it comes to a level crossing; the dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the button. Then it waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn. They do, and it walks across the road, with the butcher following him all the way.
他們沿著路走，來到十字路口的時候這條狗就把袋子放下，跳起來按了行人通行鈕，再叼起袋子耐心地等綠燈亮起，再行通過這個路口，當然肉販還是緊緊跟著它。

The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe as the dog stops a bus by pulling its left leg up and gets in it. The butcher follows the dog into the bus. The dog then shows a ticket which is tied to its belt to the bus conductor. The butcher is nearly fainting at this sight, so are the other passengers in the bus. The dog then sits near the driver's seat looking outside. As soon as the stop is in sight, the dog stands and wags its tail to inform the conductor. Then, without waiting for the bus to stop completely, it jumps out of the bus and runs to a house very close to the stop.
接下來這條狗來到公車站，開始盯著時刻表瞧。肉販很震驚這條狗居然懂得舉起左腳來攔車，然後搭上了這台公車！肉販跟著上了車，狗把綁在項圈上的車票秀給車掌看，看到這一幕，肉販就像其他的乘客一樣簡直要暈倒了。狗狗接著坐在司機旁邊看著窗外，當下一個站牌出現，它就站起來跑去車掌那兒搖尾巴示意他要下車了，不等公車完全停妥，它就迫不及待地跳出公車往一間離站牌不遠的房子奔去。

It opens the big Iron Gate and rushes inside towards the door. As it approaches the wooden door, the dog suddenly changes its mind and heads towards the garden. It goes to the window, and beats its head against it several times, walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door. The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts abusing the dog, kicking him and punching him, and swearing at him. The butcher surprised with this, runs up, and stops the guy.
它打開了院子的大鐵門，衝向房門，當它接近那道木門的時候忽然改變主意往花園跑去，它朝向窗戶走去然後用頭去撞它好幾次，然後再跑回房門前等候。肉販看到一著彪形大漢開了門，然後開始凌虐這條狗！他打它、踢他、還大聲咒罵它！肉販實在不能忍受這種事，就跑去阻止這傢伙！

"What in heaven's name are you doing? The dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for the life of me! "To which the guy responds: "You call this clever? This is the second time this week that this stupid dog's forgotten his key."
"你它馬的再幹什麼!?這是一條天才狗耶！我用我的性命擔保它絕對可以上電視！"
這男人就回答肉販：
"你說它聰明？這是這條笨狗第二次忘了帶鑰匙！"

Moral of the story.....
You may continue to exceed onlookers expectations but shall always fall short of the boss' expectations.
It's a dog's life after all.....
這個故事告訴我們.....
不管你再怎麼拼命，老闆都不會滿足的！
這就是做為一條狗的宿命啊....

＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝
還真巧，我也才剛翻了一篇關於我老東家IBM的英文笑話，有興趣的點這邊看看唄∼