I don't envy your situation. I remember when I had to do something about how I felt inside, or go totally crazy! It was hard enough in my twenties being single. Trying to put myself in your shoes with a wife and children would be like "Yikes!" It's just hard to imagine dealing with all complications. But I guess in a way, it wouldn't be any less stressfull as it was with me having two sister and mother and father who love me so much, not totally understanding and trying to cope with my feelings