I did a comparison road test, comparing my wife to my car.

1. Exterior appearance.
My car is taut, athletic looking with well proportioned curves. Wife has dated styling, with a billowing mid section.
My car wins

2, Audio. Wife is shrill, difficult to turn the volume down. My car's 6disc changer is great.
Car wins.

3. Interior comfort.
Wife is soft, fairly comfortable. My Car seats are heated.
Tied score.

4. Nav system
My car lacks this needed feature. Wife claims to be able to read a map.
Wife wins.

5.
Cost.
My car about $26000, after negotiation with dealer. Wife was cheaper, but service and repairs are more costly.
Car wins.

6.
Performance. My car has 250 hp. Wife often too tired.
Car wins.

Final score:
Car 4.5 Wife 1.5